11/07/2009
Have you ever feel you are doing your best but in reality you are fucking up everything around you?? Sound crazy saying it that way but I sometimes feel like that… I got ton’s of good intentions but even if I want to put all of my good intentions in something I fuck it up anyways…
I guess everybody have their moments…Â It’s rainy today and the moral is not really there…Â Â We were supposed to shoot with Andi today but some personals stuff happened and my moral just went down…Â I know tmo is another day and it will be much better but I think my head is just way too pack of all the great things that is happening but even if I know that everything happening are good my head still feel like she is going to expose!
Monday I got a reporter from 33mag.com who’s coming at my place to talk about the adult industry in Montreal. I’m excited and I’m freaking out… I hope I will do good and I’m scare of doing too much… I got everything set up (make up artist, hair dresser and stylist for Andi) and I still find the way to put bad thoughts in to my head… that’s so retarded LOL!
Ahhh being a women is so fun… getting direct my emotions is sometimes not really a good thing…Â I try to keep focusing on my business and some unfinished business are braking my head and stop me in my way…Â I think I should go take care of that before going insane… LOL!
And you? What do you do when you want to go take care of some unfinish business (personal or not) but inside you you are scare of it? And how do you do to forget those things when you know that it’s impossible to take care of them now?
Wow I read what I just said and it make half sens.. lol But it’s really the way my head feel like now… Even me think I don’t make sens…
wow I think it’s time for a beer….. LOL!
baby girl (if i may call you that)shit happends, but it will work out, hang in there. you and andi look so good togather
Oh thanks you’re so sweet
It really make me feel good to see your support 
Hi Ariel. I think sometimes things mess with a person. Everybody gets down now and then. Don’t let it bother you too much, you’re such a sweetheart. Don’t worry, everything WILL work out ok. Dan
yupp, everyone have ups and downs, just remember that you have fans that will love you regardless what you do, im not good with encouraging word, but just think about how awesome the outcome of all your projects will be
I would so like to say anything that could help you but nothing comes into my mind.
I just can say you have such big support of such a huge fanbase… forget those shitty thoughts. Like you said, tomorrow is an whole new day and everything looks much better. =)
Oh, and I think you need some vacation!^^
And yes, I have also so many good intentions and, just like you, I allways fuck it up… everybody does that in some way! Dont worry too much about it!
You doing such a great work and, like allready said, your huge fanbase which allways supports you, sou should be the luckiest person on earth!
(Soo, why do I thing now I totaly misunderstood you and sound like a douche?)
You are relatively close to the knowledge and basic description of the situation …
The boy is 22 years that your description… quite good.
Each and polyglot that is best expressed in their native language.
Zdeněk S.
Cheer up Ariel =) you are lovely.! Just remember that the sun shines brighter after the storm.! Kisses, Mariano from Argentina
Ariel,
‘private text.
I am already tired and I try to write you back an ‘my little wise “until tomorrow.
But wants to rest – more rest and relaxation!
You remember what I wrote to you earlier to your Member Blog.
It was also about our work workaholism … I will send back “a smaller
I you girl, Andi, and your other small and large darling Have a nice and quiet night.
Zdeněk S.
You’ve got the world at your feet gorgeous
… as you said it will pass. Love from australia <3
Treasure the uncertain days and unwanted moments because if everything was all but perfect there would be no meaning to any of it…
Fucking up is what allows your every success to be that much more wonderful…
You would never be the cool, hip-chick that you are if there weren’t the necessity for the occasional mistake (nor the inevitable feelings of disappointment or frustration)…
It is how you can stay true to yourself the most…
T.
The first sentence you said is the same one m best friend is telling me everyday… tks for this healthy reminder
Dont worry Ariel, everybody has the same thoughts you do. Its just the way of life. We all have our ups and downs but we just have to deal with them. My guess is your stressed. I feel the same way when I’m stressed. When I have so much shit to do and I dont have time to do them all. Sometimes I dont even finish the stuff I do and it bothers me for the rest of the day or even longer until I finally finish it. And then finally once its done, I still have a bad feeling about it. Like I didnt do good enough or I could of done more to make it better. A million fucking thoughts go through your head and it just drives you fucking insane, you just wanna scream or throw something. The thing I do to put my mind at ease is to write all my thoughts down on paper. Make a list of all the challenges you have to face so that it will be on the paper and not on your mind. And then from there just take it one step at a time. Your mind will be more relaxed and focused on the job at hand so you wont have to worry about it later. That should help with the “What if” feelings you get. It helped me a good deal. Well I hope my advice helps you and if it doesnt, well you can always drink them away. Lol.
Hi belle Ariel,
Pourquoi ces idées noires ? Tu réussis tout ce que tu fais !
Tes sets de photos sont ce qu’il y a de plus joli et coquin sur le web. Tes vidéos sont les teasers les plus hots qui soient, et sans jamais basculer dans le vulgaire ou le porno. Tes interviews montrent à quel point tu es une marrante, vive d’esprit, avec un caractère joyeu et adorable à vivre. Tu as une personnalité des plus attachante, en plus d’un physique qui met tous les hommes à tes pieds.
Combien de femmes peuvent en dire autant ? Tu dois être jalousée en secret de toutes tes copines, qui certes sont belles et charmantes, mais manquent de ce petit “je ne sais quoi” très rare qu’on appelle le charisme.
Bref, si tu as le blues, pensent à tes milliers de fans, tous amoureux, qui se damneraient pour être en ta compagnie, et rêvent de t’épouser et te faire tous les enfants que tu voudras un jour
Pour finir concernant ton interview lundi, il n’y a vraiment pas de quoi t’inquiéter. Soit toi-même, comme d’habitude, et tu rendras l’interviewer raide dingue de toi, le chanceux
Bisous
MERCI!!!
xxx
François, very nicely and carefully written.
That I can “almost literally” sign.
I would like this with such feeling… “could not write, but not that I could not write as follows.
Zdeněk S.
you just described what i’m going through! really though, i know what you are saying. feeling like youre doing your best but things keep getting fucked up. trying to take care and deal w/ unfinished business. you are not alone in going through this, life is such a rollercoaster. i’m looking for answers myself but it seems we all must face reality and persevere. afterall theres always room for improvement right? yeah a beer or 420 sounds nice after a rough day, lets enjoy life
Everyone needs bad days, so that you appreciate the good days even more. I’m always putting my foot in it, saying things with good intentions but sometimes they come out wrong. And it’s worse when you don’t know you’ve upset someone, I hate that. That’s why a problem shared really is a problems halved. And things do look better after a good night’s sleep.
Your worries about the magazine person coming shows how seriously and caring you are. That’s a big tick in my book. So many times I kick myself for getting worried and stressed beforehand and there was no need to, it all went well. But if that is how you are you can’t change it, you’re stuck with being you, but that is a good thing.
I’m a great ditherer and can put off things for days, weeks, months and years. Yet when I do get round to sorting it out I get so annoyed with myself for not having done it earlier. So, although I wouldn’t do it, I would advise to confront it, get it out the way, clear a space for good things to happen.
A cuddle, cup of tea, chat, and good company solves just about every problem… and pets too, they are great listeners
Wow thanks
It’s crazy how your kind words make me feel less alone 
And you’re right… a good night of sleep help a lot!
yeah I always try to be a nice guy and things seem to fuck up royally for me too… story of my life, I hope the best for you my dear.
Hmmm… When nothing is going as you want it to, it’s time to pause work and just try to relax. Meditate, do a puzzle, read a book, go jogging, hit a punching bag a few hundred times… Or even take a nice bath and then a nap. Get together with family and friends. Do silly things. Play a computer game.
As a last resort, do something crazy you never would otherwise.
As long as it’s not a stressful and important activity.
Remember, there are two kinds of things you shouldn’t worry about: those that can be corrected and those that cannot.
Love the punching bag idea… I think it will be something I will put in my wish list!
I also find that martial arts training leaves me relaxed afterwards. If done properly anyway.